If you are in a long distance relationship, then you are one of those lucky few to experience an interesting and unique way to love.
Questions we frequently ask:
“Is he worth waiting for?”
“does he feels the same way I do?”
“Am I kidding myself thinking this can work?”
Long-distance relationships suck. I’ve never met anyone who said, “Yeah, my husband lives 18 hours away by plane, it’s great!” On the contrary, everyone I’ve met in a long-distance relationship ends up with that agonizing feeling: that your heart is slowly being carved out of your chest by a butter knife and replaced with unsatisfactory Facetime and blinking chat windows.
I get it; I’ve been there. My relationship with my husband is long distance since day one.
We made plans to end the distance as soon as possible, he comes down here once a year and then made the appropriate sacrifices everyday to work it out.
When it comes to surviving the distance, here’s what I’ve learned :
1. You always need something to look forward to together:
When making any long-distance relationship work, it’s crucial to always have some date that you are both looking forward to. Usually, this will be the next time you are both able to see each other. But it can also be another major life moment— vacation together is the best part of it, working out both on your schedule and make sure that you have bonding time even on FaceTime like watching the same movies at the same time, reading the Bible and devotional together makes a long distance relationship work easier and smoother at the same time it makes your relationship stronger if you have the same Faith. The minute you stop having some milestone to look forward to, the harder it will be to maintain the same enthusiasm for, and optimism in, each other. One thing that is true in a long distance relationship is that if they’re not growing, then they’re dying. The growth is even more crucial in a long-distance relationship. There must be some goal that you’re reaching forward together. You must have some cause that unites you at all times. There has to be a converging trajectory on the horizon. Otherwise, you will inevitably drift apart.
2. Be Slow to judge:
A funny thing happens to humans psychologically when we’re separated from one another: We’re not able to see each other as we truly are. When we’re apart from one another or have limited exposure to a person or event, we start to make all sorts of assumptions or judgments that are often either exaggerated or completely wrong. I am guilty of this and still working on this phase until now. In some cases, people get insanely jealous or irrationally possessive because they perceive every casual social outing as potentially threatening to a relationship. “Who the hell is this person? And why is he sending you messages on Facebook, etc. Absence makes the heart grow fonder” When stuck in a long-distance scenario, it’s important to maintain some skepticism of your own feelings. Remind yourself that you really don’t know what’s going on and the best thing you can do at any moment is to simply talk to your partner about what they’re feeling and about what you’re feeling. Trust is the main fundamental of long distance relationship or any other relationship. Trust your partner and be open minded.
3. Communication :
MAIN KEY and very important in a long distance relationship, always have an open communication with your partner 24/7, make sure that regardless the time and distance will not be the hindrance of your communication with him. Always make an effort to let him feel that he will never feel the distance. Can it work? Yes, it can. Does it work? Usually, no. But then again, that’s depends on both parties on how they work it out.
There are so many negative aspects associated with long-distance relationships today that it is sometimes hard to see the silver-lining around them. Despite being separated from your partner, you can place a physical and emotional limitation on your day-to-day life.
There are actually many benefits to this type of relationship thus include:
Individual Growth, Strengthens Emotional Bond, Appreciation for the Moments Spent Together, and Tests the Love.
All in all, a long distance relationship requires commitment from both of you to work. It requires communication and trust. There will be rough patches, of course, but if each individual clearly knows the reason why they are in the relationship and recognizes their common goal to share life together, then the benefits of the outcome will outweigh all the negatives. If there is a time in your relationship when you are feeling distressed, because you miss your partner, keep this wise quote in mind, “Distance between two hearts is not an obstacle; rather a great reminder of just how strong true love can be.”
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